Monday, 13 February 2017

Self care

Sometimes I find myself thinking I really need to take better care of myself. In every sense, physically, mentally and emotionally.

We each have different standards - different levels of what we consider to be awful, ok, good, and fucking awesome.

When I think back to pre-baby I was far better at that self care. I was slimmer, fitter, healthier, enjoyed going out, made time for my hobbies, my relationship, friends and family, and really took pride in my appearance. Each of these things contributed to me being happy as a whole.

Now? It's a good day if I actually apply some mascara before I go to work. It's a good day if I make it to 10pm without poking someone in the eye (only in my mind!)

In part it's because I am no longer my priority, my son is of course. But mostly if I'm truthful it’s because I've became lazy and complacent.

Today I resolve to make a change. I have already started with some little things. I have begun making time for my hobbies again and I've started taking better care and interest in my surroundings.

Next on the agenda is taking the time to care more about my appearance. That means eating better and doing more than just a swipe of moisturiser and mascara before I head out of the door.

What does your self care look like?


Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Time to "relax"

One thing I've come to realise is that I can never truly relax. Even when I'm granted time to myself it gets taken up with errands and jobs that I've been putting to one side because I can't do them with a toddler clinging to me. Days off are full of things I need to get done and the pressure of completing them before it's time to pick the toddler up.

Even then life has a wonderful way of getting in the way of plans. Take this week for example.  I booked this week off work to do decorating Monday and Tuesday, declutter the house Wednesday, have estate agents over for photos on Thursday morning and then finally get a couple of days to relax.

So far it looks a bit like this:
Saturday - dropped the toddler off at his Nanny's and reminded ourselves what it was like to not have a child. Totally failed at avoiding talking about our son!

Sunday -despite enjoying the adult only time I was glad to get my toddler home. Quick bit of car shopping before picking him up. Huge eczema breakout on my hands and weirdly my lips tingling...

Monday - OH decided it was too icy to ride his bike to work. Cue manic effort to get toddler ready for nursery and everyone dropped off. In the rush I forgot to look after myself. Dropped everyone off and went to buy supplies for the day of decorating. 20p short in change for parking...grrr... wrangling with registering for online pay to park and I was rescued by a lovely lady who donated £1.20 so I could park and stop a bit longer for a coffee. I gave her a promise to pay it forward. Then went and spent £45 on paint for a house I don't even want to keep. Didn't get a coffee..
After several hours painting and while half way up a ladder the estate agent called and said they were sending someone round on Tuesday to view the house... it's a freaking shit tip of course... lips still tingling...hands calmed down.

Tuesday - Initial plan for painting and decorating the hall and stairs on hold due to impending viewing.  I look like the freaking Joker... lip tingle has spread up both sides of my mouth and skin very sore. Can't go to docs as house is a mess and the viewing is at lunchtime. Viewing done and I get to sit on the sofa for a couple of hours watching crap TV, drinking tea, knitting and eating the toddlers sugar stash. Walk the dog.
Get the toddler home and I have dinner to do with a crabby tired toddler following me everywhere and whining.
Immense bedtime battle with the toddler who finally crashed to sleep at 9.30pm. I was in bed by 10pm.

Wednesday - yes I have a report so far already.  At some point during the night the toddler clambered into bed for boob. For some reason I was convinced it was practically morning so let him.  What feels like several hours of him feeding and being an ass he finally falls asleep next to me and then just as I'm nodding off he pees the bed. Ffs. 5.30am we're up for the day.
1 hour 30 minutes before I can phone the doc. I still have to get the toddler to nursery and he's currently lying naked on the sofa under a blanket half watching Fireman Sam. I suspect he's about to fall asleep.
Bottom lip feels scabby and skin sore... possible impetigo? Hope I get to docs today.

Really loving this relaxing week off (!)