Everyday of my life now I have to take responsibility for someone else. He's on my mind in everything that I do, whether he's with me or not. He's even on my mind as I cross the road, making me more careful and taking less risks in life.
This week, we made one of the first of many decisions relating to his care and wellbeing. We chose his nursery for when I return to work. In some ways it was harder than I expected it to be. When we first started looking into nurseries I had a list in my head of key criteria and thought it was as simple as that.
As soon as we looked at the first one I realised there were so many things that I hadn't even thought about which were so important. With every nursery we looked at, more and more things occurred to us.
We eventually narrowed it down to two. We were left with two final questions. Which one did we feel he would be happiest at, and which one did we feel we could trust to keep him safe, and care for him in the same way we would.
It's the weirdest thing having to choose someone to look after your child, and to pay them for the privilege of spending time with him. Because, it really is a privilege.
I'm now officially dreading 2015.
Every day that I finish work I'll be desperate to reassure myself that we have trusted the right person to take care of the most precious thing in our life.