Monday, 7 July 2014

Attack of the guilts

Last night I did something I've never done before and was wracked with guilt. Typically it's not even something I consciously did, but the finger of blame is shouting at me in my head.

Of course I know it was probably a one off, and no harm came of it...but THE GUILT!

As many of you know I wear two hearing aids and BB (Before Baby), I took my hearing aids out for bed.  Obviously I can't do that anymore and have taken to just turning off the one against my pillow.

I've occasionally rolled over in my sleep and as my active hearing aid hits the pillow the feedback prompts me to switch one off and the other on. I can only assume I was so knackered I just turned it off without switching the other one on.

Of course this meant the sound of the baby waking went unheard,  the sound of hungry grumbles were unheard, but the sound of his wailing went on for long enough to eventually alert the OH to wake up and I was subsequently woken very abruptly by a shove.

Of course he was fine, snuggled straight in for a feed and went straight back to sleep.

I, on the other hand,  barely slept at all for fear of repetition!  My social worker for the deaf gave me a baby monitor with a vibrating alert specifically to help with this,  the only problem is it vibrates at the slightest noise instead of the louder baby is awake and hungry noise.  Not helpful.

Oscar is now almost too big for his crib and we're about to start introducing him to the cotbed in the nursery.  This is going to be challenging and I suspect I'm about to really experience sleep deprivation!

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