Friday, 21 April 2017

What did you just say?

Too often in the past Oscar has excitedly repeated the slurs his Daddy can't help throwing at other drivers on the road.

Not usually a matter for hilarity but tonight on the way home as his Daddy shouted out quite loudly,  Oscar yelled it out for extra effect.  Thankfully Daddy's "Knobhead" comment became, "Get to bed!".

Yep we won't be correcting that one.  Quite funny but not as funny as "Cock knee!" Yeah maybe I'll tell you about that one some time but I still can't tell it without wetting myself a little!

Sunday, 9 April 2017

Sunday Funday

As two working parents of a 3 year old it's important to us to make sure that we have fun on our weekends. Of course being full time working parents with no family childcare options we also have  a lack of spare funds due to full time nursery costs. (His nursery is fab and worth every penny!) It's essential our weekend plans are as cheap as possible.

Yesterday was easy as we bundled our pride and joy off with his Nanny for the day to go to a family friend's birthday party. He greeted us in the evening with smiles, rosy cheeks, tired eyes and filthy hands and feet. Sign of a good day in my book!

Today, the sun was shining and the boy wanted to play on his bike.  We don't live in a great area to be fair and the local park is always busy.  We packed supplies and headed to a quiet park the other side of town. I'm not sure who had the most fun!

Daddy having a rest

Afterwards we weren't ready to go home, not on such a nice day.  We decided it was time to spend a little bit of cash but not too much of course! Oscar got to choose and he decided to opt for the ice cream farm. Otherwise known as Archers which has the most delicious ice creams at a reasonable price with some calves for the little one to get excited about.  I think the highlight was probably watching a cow have a massive poo. He's obsessed with poos! Combined with more running around in the kid's play area the 3 year old was sparko within 5 minutes in the car.

A great day out in the sunshine. Love family days like this.

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Better late than never

Years ago I used to go to a well known fat club.  One particular day after another disastrous week and yet another gain I broke into tears.  Yeah yeah I hear you.  I was one of "those" people. The ones who sob because they ate a giant kebab and chips with extra garlic sauce the day before weigh in and then freaked out because they'd gained half a pound.

Except I wasn't.  I had my ups and downs but generally didn't put too much pressure on myself.  I had a great social life and if I gained weight that was ok because I'd enjoyed myself and would pull it back the next week. Ilost a great amount slowly and steadily. The reason I got so upset this particular time was because my consultant asked me to tell her what my reason for being there was.

For my child of course.  The child I didn't have.  The one I didn't know if would have.  The one I  desperately wanted.  The one I wanted to chase around the playground.  The one I wanted to jump up and down on the trampoline with. The one I wanted to take mountain biking.

Not long after that I was pregnant.  I actually continued going because I didn't want to gain too much weight and I wanted to be the fittest, healthiest parent I could be.

Fast forward 4 years and I'm the biggest I've ever been.  I've become complacent.  Lazy. Making excuses.

I now ache like a complete bitch after finally doing the exercise DVD I bought 3 years ago.  It's only 20 minutes but it killed me.

But it's a start.  Better late than never I will be a fit parent.

Thursday, 2 March 2017

Be true to yourself

Yesterday was no different to any other day. Yet to Oscar there was one thing which clearly stood out to him. As usual when I picked him up from nursery there was a gaggle of kids (I'm pretty sure that's the official collective noun) gathering around me, firing off 120 questions. There was no surprise from me when one little girl pointed at me and spouted the typical toddler question, "What's that?"

I checked myself wondering what it could be. My work pass dangling from my pocket? My birthmark on show? My hearing aids peeping from under my hair? My blue/ green (not quite so mermaid anymore) hair? Nope. Nothing so obvious to me.

As she pointed again towards my face I realised it was my nose ring. There was no judgment, no distaste,  just simple childhood innocent curiosity.

I never gave it another thought until this morning as I was getting ready for work.  Oscar was helping me and passing me things I needed.
Oscar: "Take that off Mummy."
Mummy: "Take what off?"
Oscar: "Earring Mummy"

As I removed my earrings...
Oscar: "No that one Mummy" and tapped his nose.
Mummy: "Why? Do you not like it?"
Oscar: "No Mummy"

Now I don't know how he really feels about it at all to be honest but I do know he's never expressed any interest in it before. Needless to say I didn't take it off.  It's important he realised that we are all individuals and we can wear what we want, how we want to.

I have a whole rainbow of hair colours as we go through the year, my wardrobe is less than fashionable and I have a nose ring.  I'm not outrageous by any means but I am individual. I don't care what society says or expects of me I will always be true to myself.

Oscar's World Book Day costume was not my best effort but it was the best I could manage today.  As a last ditch effort I used my best black mascara and drew in a Batman mask on his face. He was immediately happy even though it was patchy and uneven.  He was happy and that's all that mattered. Lots of other kids had shop bought costumes.  I didn't see a single home made outfit.  Oscar had a minor panic and wanted me to take his mask off but there was no time.  When I picked him up tonight I asked if he had a good time.  He beamed from ear to ear.  I asked if any other kids had a Batman mask like his.  Nope. "Was that OK?", "Of course Mummy!" And off he whooshed with his smudged face and his cape flying high. My beautiful boy doing it his way in his own unique style.

Monday, 13 February 2017

Self care

Sometimes I find myself thinking I really need to take better care of myself. In every sense, physically, mentally and emotionally.

We each have different standards - different levels of what we consider to be awful, ok, good, and fucking awesome.

When I think back to pre-baby I was far better at that self care. I was slimmer, fitter, healthier, enjoyed going out, made time for my hobbies, my relationship, friends and family, and really took pride in my appearance. Each of these things contributed to me being happy as a whole.

Now? It's a good day if I actually apply some mascara before I go to work. It's a good day if I make it to 10pm without poking someone in the eye (only in my mind!)

In part it's because I am no longer my priority, my son is of course. But mostly if I'm truthful it’s because I've became lazy and complacent.

Today I resolve to make a change. I have already started with some little things. I have begun making time for my hobbies again and I've started taking better care and interest in my surroundings.

Next on the agenda is taking the time to care more about my appearance. That means eating better and doing more than just a swipe of moisturiser and mascara before I head out of the door.

What does your self care look like?

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Time to "relax"

One thing I've come to realise is that I can never truly relax. Even when I'm granted time to myself it gets taken up with errands and jobs that I've been putting to one side because I can't do them with a toddler clinging to me. Days off are full of things I need to get done and the pressure of completing them before it's time to pick the toddler up.

Even then life has a wonderful way of getting in the way of plans. Take this week for example.  I booked this week off work to do decorating Monday and Tuesday, declutter the house Wednesday, have estate agents over for photos on Thursday morning and then finally get a couple of days to relax.

So far it looks a bit like this:
Saturday - dropped the toddler off at his Nanny's and reminded ourselves what it was like to not have a child. Totally failed at avoiding talking about our son!

Sunday -despite enjoying the adult only time I was glad to get my toddler home. Quick bit of car shopping before picking him up. Huge eczema breakout on my hands and weirdly my lips tingling...

Monday - OH decided it was too icy to ride his bike to work. Cue manic effort to get toddler ready for nursery and everyone dropped off. In the rush I forgot to look after myself. Dropped everyone off and went to buy supplies for the day of decorating. 20p short in change for parking...grrr... wrangling with registering for online pay to park and I was rescued by a lovely lady who donated £1.20 so I could park and stop a bit longer for a coffee. I gave her a promise to pay it forward. Then went and spent £45 on paint for a house I don't even want to keep. Didn't get a coffee..
After several hours painting and while half way up a ladder the estate agent called and said they were sending someone round on Tuesday to view the house... it's a freaking shit tip of course... lips still tingling...hands calmed down.

Tuesday - Initial plan for painting and decorating the hall and stairs on hold due to impending viewing.  I look like the freaking Joker... lip tingle has spread up both sides of my mouth and skin very sore. Can't go to docs as house is a mess and the viewing is at lunchtime. Viewing done and I get to sit on the sofa for a couple of hours watching crap TV, drinking tea, knitting and eating the toddlers sugar stash. Walk the dog.
Get the toddler home and I have dinner to do with a crabby tired toddler following me everywhere and whining.
Immense bedtime battle with the toddler who finally crashed to sleep at 9.30pm. I was in bed by 10pm.

Wednesday - yes I have a report so far already.  At some point during the night the toddler clambered into bed for boob. For some reason I was convinced it was practically morning so let him.  What feels like several hours of him feeding and being an ass he finally falls asleep next to me and then just as I'm nodding off he pees the bed. Ffs. 5.30am we're up for the day.
1 hour 30 minutes before I can phone the doc. I still have to get the toddler to nursery and he's currently lying naked on the sofa under a blanket half watching Fireman Sam. I suspect he's about to fall asleep.
Bottom lip feels scabby and skin sore... possible impetigo? Hope I get to docs today.

Really loving this relaxing week off (!)

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Like sponges

It's so easy to forget how much children take in.  I am reminded on pretty much a weekly basis though by nursery staff of the delightful (!) and amazing things my son has regaled them with.

For a while it's been his colourful language and swearing. Fucking hell and fucking bastard being two of his favourites.   Thanks Daddy! I suppose I should be grateful he hasn't dropped the c bomb yet.
Then we moved on to his proud exclamations as to the size of his poos. "It was THIS big!!"
Again, thanks Daddy...
But sometimes something your child says makes you proud of them and realise that actually his loud and colourful language can have a positive effect.
One of his little friends proudly told her mummy  during toilet training that she was just like Oscar! Hopefully she wasn't trying to pee standing up or remarking on the size of her poos!
Not sure that today's report of him attempting to perform a cesarean section on another child with a plastic knife was so good though.... 😕 May have to stop watching programmes with surgeons around him for a while....